FUCLA's Slick Dick Neuheisman Caught Entering Recruits' Rear Ends

I just got inside information on FUCLA football coach Dick Neuheisman. He's engaging in questionable recruiting tactics. We all know Coach Neuheisman's a homo. I don't have a problem with that. But when Nueheisman (or is it Neuheisel?) tries to enter a few high school recruits from the rear, that's a violation of sorts we can do without. My inside sources tell me the authorities will be after Slick Dick soon enough. Good! This disgusting fella needs to be thrown in jail where he'll get a taste of his own buttocks. I will post more information as it comes to me.