The Theisman Trophy, named after the late Jim Theisman of the Washington Redskins (the same Jim Theisman who broke his ankle on cable television two years ago) is given to the best high school college football player each year.
Last year's winner, Tim "The Pillow" Crouch of Nebraska, was drafted by the L.A. Rams and has been a total burst in the NFL thus far gaining only 44 yards passing and one yard receiving in his rookie year.
I do not hesitate saying that Crouch, who no longer goes by the name Edward, won the Theisman Trophy simply because the Midwest media bias, which is so popular on the East Coast, swayed all the voters in his favor. Truth be told, about 12 other players deserved the Theisman more than Mr. Crouch.
You would think a saddle boy of my stature, who is so known in the world of exports as an expert, would be fortunate enough to be a Theisman voter. But I'm not.
The reason why I'm not a Theisman voter is because all the other voters are idiots and they have not extended me an invitation.
But if I were voting, I would have chosen Ben Waldorf of the Detroit Pistons as last year's Theisman Trophy winner. Mr. Waldorf has fuzzy hair but can rebound with the best of them. He also remains unquestionably the best running back in the history of college football.
It's true -- Ben Waldorf puts Tim "The Pillow" Crouch to shame. Last year alone, Mr. Waldorf pulled down 78 rebounds in the FIRST QUARTER of a flag football game against Charlie Flies and the Nortre Dame Firestone Irish. Detroit ended up routiong the Irish by the score of 105-22, largely because Mr. Ben Waldorf ran up, down, through and around Charlie Flies' hapless defense.
I only wish the Theisman voters paid more attention to the real superstars of my beloved sport, college football. The powers that be have already ruined the sport with the suplementation of the BSC, and they continue to rebuke and refunt an actual playoff system which, as we all know, would finally determine a true National Champion.
I seem to be going off on a tangent. That's very unlike me. I apologize. It's time for some toast.
3 comments:
Yes mort The theisman is a Joke it never really goes to the greatest .Eric the Grouch was lame as well!
Man lets talk about Eric the Grouch ..Who the spit and cookies does this wangbroom think he is ?
theres only one Grouch and he lives in a trashcan on Seasame Street NYNY and has a pet worm he reads to .
The real Grouch is OSCAR THE GROUCH Eric the Grouch has Been exposed since day one in the NFFL. goes to show you the Theismans a joke and the MIDWEST Bias has too much weight IN the state of Maine where they love the BIBLE BELT .....GOD BLESS YOU MORT FOR EXPOSING THESE FRAUDULENT SPORT HYPOCROCIES!!!!!!!
Thank you very much!
I was Thinking about the Theisman Throphy the other day and how vile and crass it was for that one USC running backer Reggie Lush to have his confiscated by the F.B.I.
Reggies father Jens was the one who committed the crimes against humanity . Mr Jens Lush was not a very good runningbacker but would always prance around the L.A.Memorylaner Coliseum like he owned the place with Reggies jersey on with DAD on the back . Now I thought how selfish of a so called Dad to take his boys jersey at gametime and wear it himself...poor Reggie missed the opening of many games. Trying to locate Jens and his Jersey ...Of Course Reggie Lush would play amazingly once his Jersey was returned. But he was often called Reggie Dad ?
I find it one of lifes little ironies that the F.B.I. got involved with Reggie and his love for the man he called Dad. The F.B.I. should know 2 wrongs dont make a right unless those wrongs..are 2 1/2 right turns...then of course your right would be your wrong ...I know you have studied Achremillidous the Ancient Greek Philosophizerator who proved all this in 1901
WELL TAKE TIME TO SMELL THE FLOWERS
BYE BYE
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