My most sickening apologies and fantasy grapefruits to my dear friends and neighbors who've been wondering where I've been. I have failed miserably to keep you afloat of the terms of my whereabouts. Not only has it been several years since my last post, I haven't even posted in over a month! Truth be told I have been in training for an upcoming boxing match against George Foreman who is coming out of retirement to face me. I have hired Gus "Randolph" Randolph, the famous boxing trainer, to get me ready. I will provide more details later. However I am making $11 million so I could not turn this down. George is also giving me a bbq just for agreeing to the match. It will be on pay per view, channel 22233938d89, so please watch.
Love,
Morty
1 comment:
Mort,
Sorry to hear about your job lay-off at UW . They announced they are going to hire Scott Sharkeffen from USC .Good to see you are feeling better and back in the sports world .
Now , I hope George Foreskin doesnt try his under the gut- sock a nut punch on you , its dirty and has no place in boxing . If you throw Mike and ikes at him , he will be intimidated to the point where he cries like snuffleufagus on acid . I often wonder how his Bar-B-Q works, you plug it in , then like a waffle iron , it drains the syrup out of the pancake. Freakin Amazing . We miss you at WeMightBeSC.com
ICKY !
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