Boy am I full

You might not believe this but I just finished Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, I have been eating for over 2 weeks straight. I wish I could say my pants still fit but they don't. I confess I am a fat pig and do not understand why people don't like me. I am the MASTER of the sports world and can tell you EVERYTHING about EVERYONE in sports. You might be wondering where sports and Thanksgiving meet? Right here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eidpOdDX8Qg

I am ready to fight!

My most sickening apologies and fantasy grapefruits to my dear friends and neighbors who've been wondering where I've been. I have failed miserably to keep you afloat of the terms of my whereabouts. Not only has it been several years since my last post, I haven't even posted in over a month! Truth be told I have been in training for an upcoming boxing match against George Foreman who is coming out of retirement to face me. I have hired Gus "Randolph" Randolph, the famous boxing trainer, to get me ready. I will provide more details later. However I am making $11 million so I could not turn this down. George is also giving me a bbq just for agreeing to the match. It will be on pay per view, channel 22233938d89, so please watch.
Love,
Morty